Binge Eating, Confessions & God's Sense of Humor

The last couple of days have been a blur.  They've been filled with a loss from those fabulous Razorbacks, and some serious matters with some people I love dearly (several people).  It seems like when something happens, a ton of things follow... and no... I'm not seriously comparing a college football team to the important issues.  Sometimes... it just really blows to be a grown up:)

With that being said... Softball didn't happen for me Sunday... but this Sunday...BRING.IT.ON :) and no.. I didn't back out. 

So.. last night was the Bachelor Pad Season Three Finale....umm... BEST. SEASON. EVER.  This was actually my favorite season due to game play..yet my least favorite in terms of characters.  Go Nick!  I totally agree with his decision to KEEP the money.  

Next up... Katie Couric's new show is the bomb!  I just love having a DVR... or maybe just cable in general...oh wait.. it's abc, no need for cable.... 

Here's a pic of LG from this morning...

She's quite the poser:)

Confessions:

 
    *  I have not exercised since Thursday and I feel gross and corroded.  (yes, I know the definition of   

        corroded and that's exactly what I meant to say)

     * Yesterday, I was a binge eater.  No lie.  When I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what Chris from Season 13 of Biggest Loser was doing, I immediately texted the DeShazo and V... and then got up and started dusting.

Discussion of the Confessions:

It's totally ok to "reasonably cheat"... but NEVER to binge eat.  Definition of MY binge eating extravaganza....I left work yesterday with 325 calories left for dinner.. Keep in mind that this 325 calories was PLENTY for the yummy chicken I was planning to have.... Here's where I went wrong...PASTA...Not only did I eat a portion too big to begin with... I kept eating... and when I mean I kept eating... I mean I stood over the pot of pasta forking it in my mouth.... like...disgusting!!!!!  NOT.OK.  After consuming wayyyy more than 325 calories worth, I ate about 1/8 of bag of candy corn, a snack bag of cool ranch doritos, and a cheese stick....Again, Not ok.  One of my friends suggested that this was "being an emotional eater"... and I sort of agree.. but I think this is better known as " binge eater with no acceptable excuse"...It was like I had been fasting all day and started shoveling food in! I've confessed this because it'll help me not to re-offend......It's quite embarrassing....

So, since my weight loss has stopped ( because I need to crack down) ...I'm going to record my food intake again.. just for a little while.  I am happy to report that it has stayed the same... which means I can and have taken control...except for that little binge eating episode.

Today's Calorie Intake:

Breakfast- peanut butter toast - 155 cal

Mid-Morning snack- Nutri grain bar - 120 cal

Lunch- Turkey sandwich - 185 Cal
            chocolate covered pretzels - 100 cal pack

Supper- Chicken Fajitas with sour cream -237 cal
              1/4 cup of refried beans 60 cal (I didn't have fat free this time)

Starbucks Skinny somethinorother iced coffee ( Mary ordered for me...I don't go to Starbucks:) )- 130 cal

Total  987 Cal!!!!!!

So....today....I became really concerned when I caught a glimpse of the DeShazo's computer... here's what I found...

...I always knew she had a thing for Mariah.  You can't hide the truth.

Obviously, today is 9/11.  Everyone has their own story of where they were when they heard the news...what they felt, ect.  Did 9/11 affect you personally?  I'm sure most people would immediately think of how the government affects our lives... but I mean ..does it affect your personal life in an "immediate" way?   Little did I know at the time.. 9/11 would affect my marriage/where I live, ect.  Martinez decided to join the Air Force shortly after the attacks...BECAUSE of the attacks.  He has deployed to Iraq twice, El Salvador, Nicaragua and he also was sent to assist with the damage of Hurricane Katrina.  I had no idea that I would marry a "soldier"... as I always imagined marrying a country fella and living in south AR my whole life.  I'm so glad God is in control and decided to show me that I had NO idea on what kind of man I would need and that he was going to give me the opposite of what I thought was best.  I now live a life I love surrounded by a totally different group of people and opportunities.... and yes... even though AR and OK are neighbors sorta...it was like culture shock when I arrived... and sometimes I'm still shocked at some things. Do I need to remind you about the gals here who don't know what purple hull peas and sweet potato pies are?  On 09/11...not only do I think about the sacrifices of EVERYONE involved, but my own life and how it has worked out.

While I'm thinking of how my life has changed...I think God has a total sense of humor...not only did he "show" me that I had no idea what I was doing on my "husband search" by giving me a calm, sweet, non-existent tan ( Martinez....stop looking at the tan line on your arm while reading this! ), awesome city dude when I wanted a spirited, tan, country dude... he placed me in the "city" versus the backwoods...changed my career field path from education to criminal justice (which was my initial choice before college..like when I wsa 10) and surrounded me with a diverse group of friends that I love dearly.  I'm now careful not to stay "I'm going to do this...or I'll never do that...(except for I'll never be a band or cheer mom..no offense)... because I know God's taking notes and will probably give me the opposite!


Enough for today! Hopefully, I'll be consistent with my food journal like I was in the beginning of my weight loss journey and have good exercise updates to share tomorrow !

P.S......Disclaimer again... I totally realize I switch from past, present and future tense in all my posts....this really bothers me if it's important stuff... but this is just a blog!

Until next time.....