17 More....only 17!

167 this morning!! Woooooooo hoooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, only 17 lbs away from my second goal weight and 12lbs from my first goal weight choice !   I can do it !  Last week, I was pretty mindful...with some slip ups...but still mindful and designated a cheat day again.  It paid off !

A few things today...

Pinterest really gets me into trouble sometimes.  I'm specifically referencing the jalapeno poppers that appeared on my screen. Good news! They were "low fat" ones....so of course I had no choice but to take myself to the store and get the supplies.  Now folks, I learned this weekend...on cheat day of course.... that I do not like the taste of fat free cream cheese as I was tasting the mix for my poppers.   I got really worried that once again, Pinterest hooked me and my recipe was gonna be a flop.  I'm so glad I followed through with the baking part because those low fat free poppers were awesome! I'm sure they would have been much more tasty had they been made with real cream cheese, but then again, they wouldn't have been low fat.... and since I planned on eating ribs and mac & cheese later (the real kind with velveeta), I had to do it the right way and make concessions!  I suggest you guys try these if you like poppers !

I would recommend that you wear gloves when handling the peppers though.....I'm not sure exactly how many hand washes gets the heat off, but I do know that 4 is not enough.

Here's the link for the recipe:

http://www.hungry-girl.com/newsletters/raw/685

You can see I failed to coat the top...OOPS!

Here's another recipe for you peeps !  K sent me a an easy crockpot recipe book a few weeks ago...and let's just say that I love it !  Martinez and I have had the following recipe twice now...delicious!

Country-Style Boneless Ribs

1 package of country-style boneless pork ribs (about a pound)
2/3c of barbecue sauce ( Sweet Baby Ray's is the way to go!)
1/3c of apple jelly
1 onion sliced
3 garlic cloves- minced

Easy-Peasy!  Place your ribs in your crockpot (you can do it frozen).   Place garlic and sliced onions over ribs (I used garlic powder b/c Martinez is very spoiled  picky). Cook for 3-4 hours on low.  About an hour before serving, mix jelly and barbecue sauce together and spread over ribs.  Let it sit on low or warm setting for sauce to set !

YUMMY!  I would advise adding some spice...Martinez doesn't care for spice.. but I do..so the second time, I added red pepper flakes !!

Since this blog was originally started to write about my weight loss journey, I decided that once I lose 75 lbs, which is 17 lbs away, I will be brave and show my "biggest loser" style photos.... perhaps after I expose these photos, it'll be in the back of my mind that everyone has seen the grossness and it'll help me keep off the weight !

Not to beat a dead horse...but I'm super excited about my 2 pound weight loss this week!

Yesterday's Calorie Count

BF- Cafe Vanilla coffee -70 cal
        Banana - 90 cal

Lunch- Turkey sandwich (wheat bread, fat free turkey meat,light miracle whip)- 170 cal
            Individual bag of Cheetos - 160 cal

Snack- orange - 60 cal

Dinner- Crockpot Baja Steak -395 cal
             1/4c steamed, brown rice -52 cal

Dessert- Skinny cow cookie ice cream - 150 cal ( I really think I should only have to count half of this since LG ate half....but I'll count the whole thing!)

Total  1,147

Another great recipe from the crockpot book...

Baja Steak

1-1/2 lbs of round steak
18 oz of chunky salsa
2c frozen corn
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1 onion, chopped

Put your meat in the crockpot (it can be frozen); dump in the rest and cook on low for 7 hours and then serve over rice or noodles or whatever:) YUM.  Martinez agreed that this is a keeper.

We will get two meals out of this (so 4 servings)- Lose It- calculated the calories at 395 per serving, but if you don't eat as much of the corn and beans, it'll be lower... and there's a ton of corn and beans.


Now, for the important stuff:)

I've had it with a house dog.  Specifically, a house dog named Sammie who is profusely shedding.  To be clear- I LOVE Sammie.....though my doting on him has ceased since the arrival of LG..and even though I swore this would never happen....but I cannot take the shedding.  I sweep constantly.. like, I literally wake up in the mornings and think about sweeping/mopping because I have no tolerance for a dirty house... and especially no tolerance for a floor that is not clean with an animal in the house.  If you are one "those" people (yes, I categorized you) that can sit on the couch and visibly see dirt/hair/whatever and do nothing about it, then you are lazy. True story.  You have to be really sick, pregnant or a surgery victim to get a free pass from me in this department, not that my opinion matters.  Anyway, back on task- I told Martinez that Sammie is about to become a part-time outside dog to help a sister out with cleaning...  Little did I know that Martinez would not approve.  I researched some dog houses and then realized that he either needs to be in or out...not part time.....so.....Some vitamin pills have been ordered to help with the shedding (hopefully we can get Sammie to swallow them).  Also.... we invested in a Mint!  It's a runner up to the Roomba....but I'm hoping that this thing will save me some time and keep the floors clean!!

The Mint arrived yesterday... and Martinez and I tested it out...

After my initial dissatisfaction, I went to bed and watched the Losers.  When the Mint was finished, this was the result of the cleaning pad.... and let me be emphatically clear... I THOROUGHLY cleaned my floors on Sunday... THOROUGHLY....like THOROUGHLY...like...broom swept, swiffer swept and mopped...THOROUGHLY.

Disgusting.

This morning, I decided to swiffer sweep the living room floor, just to see if the Mint really did a good job....I was really not buying into this...

While I'm not pleased that any residue is on this pad, I'm pleased with the Mint.... who has now been named...........Charlie....... or in LG's voice "Char-wee....Hey Char-wee"

I'm tired of wasting your time now.

Oh wait...one more thing.  Just kidding.


Until Next Time....

Ma'dam Martinez

Grievin' for Steven

I have so many random thoughts today.  Don't worry- none of them are about districts of my body being violated, although some are too disturbing to share.

I think I'm having mental problems.

Remember this guy?

Well, with him missing from American Idol, I'm seriously having some issues/withdrawals/mental problems.  Take your pick.  Yes, believe it or not, I was an idol fan before the producers had the genius idea of hiring Steven.  With that being said, we ALL know that Steven as a judge was the best thing for the world.  Now that he's gone, I can hardly handle it.  I'm trying so hard to like American Idol this year, but it's really taking a toll on my mental health.  Last night, I only made it through an hour and a half.  I made it to Candace Glover's audition...and no farther....because they played a clip of her audition and Hollywood experience last year.. and then I heard his voice on the tape.  I literally felt butterflies in my stomach... not the kind that you get when you ride over a hill really fast or jump a pond bank on your four-wheeler while clinging on to your brother with all your might, but the kind that makes everything else stop.  That folks- is why I'm pretty sure I'm having mental problems.  Martinez just laughed at me last night...but I'm pretty sure this is serious.

More comments about American Idol-
I have done some research on Nicki Minaj, as I had no idea where this chick even came from.  I have at least learned that the completely asinine accents she randomly switches to are from her many alter egos.  Alter Ego Martha Zolanski (the British one) really needs some brushing up.  Her British accent is awful.  I mean come on Nicki- if you are gonna have these alter egos, at least perfect their accents! The British accent I randomly use at work to answer the phone is better than yours and it stinks !!! Just for your own knowledge, if you watch Idol and do not wish to research this, the ghetto/angry alter ego is named Roman Zolanski.  You are welcome:)

Oh gosh.  I just realized while writing about these alter egos that I may have one.  Oh no. I call myself Ma'dam Martinez.....Deep breath....ok...Martinez actually made that up so maybe I shouldn't worry????  I may need to see a therapist, psychiatrist, or Steven to sort this whole mess out.

Wheww..

In other news...

Isn't this little thing precious?  If you don't think so, perhaps Roman Zolanski will come get you !

She decided this morning that instead of wearing her zebra and hot pink headband from T, she would pull out a very, very old beanie from my early years:)

So, after reading the blog about mom butts and sharing it with you, I've become obsessed with looking at butts.  Seriously.  While Martinez and I were in Super Target last Friday, every lady that happened to unfortunately be in front of me was judged on whether or not they had a mom butt.  Remember folks, I am a mom butt violator too; however, I will be changing this upon my shopping spree that will be so graciously provided to me by Martinez once I hit 150 pounds, which is only 19 pounds away.  Thanks dear for the support and encouragement! It helps!   Anyway, just in case you were wondering, the majority of the ladies out and about on Friday were definitely mom butt violators...or they had on sweats.  I tried to take a poll at the doctor's office on Tuesday, but I forgot everything after my unfortunate experience.  I'll try to get actual numbers for you guys the next time I have a good opportunity.

I'm ending this blog before I share the disturbing thoughts in my head.

Until Next Time...


Ma'dam Martinez

169 & Violations

Interesting day today....and it's mid-afternoon.  Oh dear. I'll get to that later.


This weekend was pretty good !  I'd say a date night, two hour Saturday nap, clean house & caught up DVR is the perfect mix for a great weekend.  Poor Martinez on the other hand probably wouldn't say his weekend was great, as he has somehow injured his back.  The doc said his back is spasming, but since I'm a certified and clearly qualified physician, I'm pretty sure it's because his body is almost thirty.

I worked really hard this weekend to catch up on all my shows.  For those of you who do not know, I DVR most reality shows, plus a few others.  It's hard to keep up- so this week- my goal is to watch something on my DVR every day.... At least one show.

I'd also like to inform you guys that I have weighed in at 169!!! 170's- we can no longer be together.  It's you, definitely not me.

It's later.
I cannot wait one more minute to write about how strange today was.  Pops, you are the only consistent male reader of this blog- other than Martinez - that I know of....so I have to tell you, you may not read anymore of this post.  Fair warning- you don't want to read it.  So, if your brown eyes keep scrolling down, it is what it is.

Yearly gyno appointment today.

 DeShazo, Vic & Sgt. Seeley- I know you are already laughing in your boots/nikes because we've had this discussion today.

Today was not like every other yearly exam I've had.  It was much different...in a very, very bad way.  My appointment started off great.   I sat waiting awkwardly for the doc like every other lady out there in my makeshift gown with faded rose petals on it and blue lap sheet.  I wasted time inputting recipes in my new menu app so graciously recommended by the DeShazo when in walks Dr. E with her pink lipped smile.  At this point, I thought Dr. E and I were friends.  Apparently, doctors really do read your chart before they see you.  Dr. E noticed my weight loss and was extremely happy.  Again, I still thought we were friends at this point.

The normal, expected part of the yearly routine began and ended.  As I'm about to slowly sit up so as not to lose my blue lap sheet, I suddenly jolted right up as I  realized that another district of my body was being violated.  There are no words for my mental capacity in that moment.  On one hand, I wanted to ask the doc if she got lost. On the other, I just wanted to literally pass out so that when I woke up, I could pretend it was a dream.  My body somehow hit the table again. I have no idea what else was said in that room.  I could just feel that my face was blood red and that I needed air...immediately.

As soon as I got back to work, I asked the DeShazo if this had ever happened to her, if I had truly been violated, or if the doc really did get lost.  To my surprise, I was informed that this was normal after having a baby...something about a hemorrhoid check.  This was confirmed by a premed student as well...I was very concerned. After researching hemorrhoids, I'm pretty sure that if I had one, I'd know it... I'd also be happy to report it to the doc if she'd like to ask me about it in the future, rather than checking. I'd also appreciate some sort of warning.  It just ain't right.  My reason for writing about this??? I'm just trying to warn any ladies out that are unsuspecting like me.

Did you know that a working woman should spend 4% of her income per month on new clothing?

If you watched Steve Harvey you'd know.

Until Next Time.....

Ma'dam Martinez

Reality TV, Office Mates, & Mom Butts

Hello blog readers....all three of you...oh, how I have failed thee...   I don't know what the deal is- I just haven't been in the mood to waste your time lately.  I've been too busy catching up my DVR, dreaming of new houses, cleaning...the important stuff.

I have not been focused on my weight loss (I know, I know... it's the whole reason for starting this blog...and of course, the gals harassing me about starting one); however, I am maintaining 170.0...which is quite the shock considering I may or may not have visited Catfish Cove...again...and it may or may not have been within 6 days of the initial visit... and there may or may not have been a trip to Earl's within 4 days of my initial Catfish Cove trip.  Did you follow that?  Me either.

Free advice- Don't eat at ANY Earl's other than the one in Bricktown.  They just don't measure up. I'm qualified to judge.  Another tidbit of info- Only eat at the BJ's in Edmond.  You're welcome.

Important Stuff:

Biggest Loser - AMAZING cast this year.  The last few seasons, some of the contestants have been "mean" and super "whiny".  This year- I think it's the best cast yet!  There are/were some whiny people...like TC who left week one... and Nikki who didn't even do a workout!   Now, let me go ahead and put it in black and white, even though my guaranteed three readers know this.  If I were on the Biggest Loser, I would fake pass out all the time to get out of workouts.... I mean... I'm pretty dramatic and I think I could pull it off :) With that being said, the least the whine bags could do is wait until week three or four !! Come on! Timing is everything !!

The Bachelor- I haven't watched this week's episode yet, but based on the premiere last week, I'm pretty sure I can count on some great, mindless entertainment.  Woohoo.

American Idol- I'm so sad that Steven isn't judging this year.  Like, super sad.  I mean, we lost a guaranteed two night appearance from him.  I'm gonna stop typing about it before I tear up. Nicki Minaj??? REALLY, PEOPLE?????  At least Mariah will help get me through.

Speaking of music..... I've written numerous times in my blogging masterpiece mumbo jumbo about office sharing.  Well, again, as previously mentioned, office sharing can be tricky, although it's helpful a lot of the time.  For example, I might say to The DeShazo, "Hey, let's go to Braum's and get a #1 with a Chunky Chocolate Cappuccino shake" and she might say "No.  You know you are allergic to that shake and your mouth with swell up" and I might say "But it's worth the pain and it's only the lining of my mouth that peels off" and then she'll end the convo by saying "Listen here, we don't eat like that.  Do you want to gain your weight back?" and then I'll sulk.  What do  I offer in return in reference to being a great office mate other than my stunning, good looks crockpot recipes and cleaning schedule???  My ability to choose the BEST music for the day, which brings me back to my point. There's a fine line between getting on your office mate's nerves and providing entertainment......I ride that line folks:) Sometimes The DeShazo will have surprise visits from Mariah on her computer...or her car... just little things. This morning,  I may or may not have gotten up thinking, "I should pull out my Boys II Men Greatest Hits CD so that The DeShazo has to listen to it."  Two things:  Yes, I did use "The DeShazo" in my inner dialogue, and Yes, I REALLY thought this.  I have a lot of inner dialogue moments.  As she entered the office this morning, "End of the Road" was escaping out of my speakers.  No response from The DeShazo, until she realized that Boys II Men was featured for the day.  She was actually pleased.  A little later, I kept hearing " although we come...."- meaning- my attempt to ride the line to get a rise out of her failed. Miserably. 

So, it's kinda stressful making sure your house is organized/clean everyday in hopes that'll it be shown.  I had no idea.  I wasn't even in a rush to sell it until this fabulous house was put on the market this weekend.....like....I'm pretty sure it's the one... and I'm afraid it's gonna sell before my house does!!! Do you know what this does to me??? I'm dreaming of it!!! I would much rather go back to waking up in an Aerosmith concert than this!  It's torture!  This kitchen is awesome ( to me at least).. and I'm pretty sure my cooking skills would improve if I owned this house.  Just sayin'- it's really hard for a control freak NOT to have control !!  Yes, I'm self-admitted !

So... you know how I told you guys I've been busy?? Well, you can thank me later, or now if you'd like:) I discovered this awesome blog... this chick is very informative and posts about the real issues out there.... Jean fitting....   Basically, she's letting the world know that we ladies shouldn't settle for mom butt jeans.  Now, if you are questioning whether or not your jeans provide a "mom butt", then you probably need to click the link below.  Per this chicks research, Old Navy and Gap provide the worst mom butt! She made her husband go with her to both stores to photograph her rumpus in EVERY style they had- and then she compared those photos with other brands in the same style such as Seven, Miss Chic, Express...  UMMMMM..... this is a must read/see.  Old Navy and Gap added 30 lbs to the look!! For real.  When I saw the first picture of this chick's rear in those jeans, I thought she was probably a size 14....um.... she's definitely NOT.  She's tiny.  It's all about the jeans.  When I realized that she was featuring Old Navy as a mom butt violator, I was like " Old Navy jeans were the BEST maternity jeans"...and then it hit me...THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!  I'm happy to report that every time I go jean shopping at Old Navy, I leave empty handed because the jeans seem to stretch just in the short time I'm trying them on. 
This morning, after I zipped up my newest purchase of Maurice's jeans, I did a thorough examination of my buttocks .....I.AM.A.MOM.BUTT.VIOLATOR.... in these jeans.  This chick provided lots of info about jean fitting....but what I got out of it is that it's all about pocket positioning....and let's just say that in my jeans for today...my pockets were not positioned !!!  I need to stick with my fabulous BOOM BOOM jeans given to me by my neighbor who recently lost a ton of weight.  There ain't a mom butt appearing in those! BOOM BOOM!  That last BOOM BOOM was for Vic... because I'm pretty sure she's gonna laugh when she reads it:)  I may or may not prance when I walk by her office...and I may or may not shout "BOOM BOOM" while prancing...in those jeans.  It's ok if you don't get this.

Anyway, read the link below.  It'll be well worth your time.

http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html




Did you guys know that Demi Lovato and Catherine Zeta Jones are bipolar? 

You would if you DVR'd Dr. Phil like I do. :)

Until Next Time

Ma'dam Martinez

Shrimp, Shrimp & Shrimp

Hello All!  My blogging is becoming more spread out ... I'm just not as chatty right now I suppose:)

The last week has been pretty busy- but I've for sure enjoyed the days off work...but next week I actually have to work every day...BOO.

We have officially put our house on the market!! Hopefully, we can sell it and find a house that we love in Choctaw!  This is such a scary thing !

Martinez and I were able to enjoy a great date night last night.  We always have an issue of figuring out where we are going to have dinner... and we usually end up eating at the same places.  Last night, we were strained for time since our movie started at 7..so...we ate at the Catfish Cove.  First experience there... and it was great... though I'm pretty sure I embarrassed Martinez.  I may or may not have been super excited about the styrofoam plates (in my mind- this means they are clean)..I may or may not have eaten so much boiled shrimp that I was about to gag from being so full...Martinez may or may not have informed me that I was singing way out loud to "Pontoon" while pealing my shrimp in peaceful bliss ( I don't think the music was in my head)... and last but not least of possible embarrassments to Martinez... I may or may not have walked out of Catfish Cove with tarter sauce on my boots:)

LG had fun hanging out with S..

I was pleased this morning to find that I did not gain any weight from my gluttony last night. 170 was on the scale and I'm happy to report that I have not gained back my 4 lb weight loss afforded to me so wickedly by the stomach virus as I thought I would... and this leaves me with a 55 lb total.  I'm pretty sure it's staying off since it's been two weeks and my appetite is more than back:)


I'm pretty sure I'm going to bed soon!


Until next time...

Ma'dam Martinez