Reality TV, Office Mates, & Mom Butts

Hello blog readers....all three of you...oh, how I have failed thee...   I don't know what the deal is- I just haven't been in the mood to waste your time lately.  I've been too busy catching up my DVR, dreaming of new houses, cleaning...the important stuff.

I have not been focused on my weight loss (I know, I know... it's the whole reason for starting this blog...and of course, the gals harassing me about starting one); however, I am maintaining 170.0...which is quite the shock considering I may or may not have visited Catfish Cove...again...and it may or may not have been within 6 days of the initial visit... and there may or may not have been a trip to Earl's within 4 days of my initial Catfish Cove trip.  Did you follow that?  Me either.

Free advice- Don't eat at ANY Earl's other than the one in Bricktown.  They just don't measure up. I'm qualified to judge.  Another tidbit of info- Only eat at the BJ's in Edmond.  You're welcome.

Important Stuff:

Biggest Loser - AMAZING cast this year.  The last few seasons, some of the contestants have been "mean" and super "whiny".  This year- I think it's the best cast yet!  There are/were some whiny people...like TC who left week one... and Nikki who didn't even do a workout!   Now, let me go ahead and put it in black and white, even though my guaranteed three readers know this.  If I were on the Biggest Loser, I would fake pass out all the time to get out of workouts.... I mean... I'm pretty dramatic and I think I could pull it off :) With that being said, the least the whine bags could do is wait until week three or four !! Come on! Timing is everything !!

The Bachelor- I haven't watched this week's episode yet, but based on the premiere last week, I'm pretty sure I can count on some great, mindless entertainment.  Woohoo.

American Idol- I'm so sad that Steven isn't judging this year.  Like, super sad.  I mean, we lost a guaranteed two night appearance from him.  I'm gonna stop typing about it before I tear up. Nicki Minaj??? REALLY, PEOPLE?????  At least Mariah will help get me through.

Speaking of music..... I've written numerous times in my blogging masterpiece mumbo jumbo about office sharing.  Well, again, as previously mentioned, office sharing can be tricky, although it's helpful a lot of the time.  For example, I might say to The DeShazo, "Hey, let's go to Braum's and get a #1 with a Chunky Chocolate Cappuccino shake" and she might say "No.  You know you are allergic to that shake and your mouth with swell up" and I might say "But it's worth the pain and it's only the lining of my mouth that peels off" and then she'll end the convo by saying "Listen here, we don't eat like that.  Do you want to gain your weight back?" and then I'll sulk.  What do  I offer in return in reference to being a great office mate other than my stunning, good looks crockpot recipes and cleaning schedule???  My ability to choose the BEST music for the day, which brings me back to my point. There's a fine line between getting on your office mate's nerves and providing entertainment......I ride that line folks:) Sometimes The DeShazo will have surprise visits from Mariah on her computer...or her car... just little things. This morning,  I may or may not have gotten up thinking, "I should pull out my Boys II Men Greatest Hits CD so that The DeShazo has to listen to it."  Two things:  Yes, I did use "The DeShazo" in my inner dialogue, and Yes, I REALLY thought this.  I have a lot of inner dialogue moments.  As she entered the office this morning, "End of the Road" was escaping out of my speakers.  No response from The DeShazo, until she realized that Boys II Men was featured for the day.  She was actually pleased.  A little later, I kept hearing " although we come...."- meaning- my attempt to ride the line to get a rise out of her failed. Miserably. 

So, it's kinda stressful making sure your house is organized/clean everyday in hopes that'll it be shown.  I had no idea.  I wasn't even in a rush to sell it until this fabulous house was put on the market this weekend.....like....I'm pretty sure it's the one... and I'm afraid it's gonna sell before my house does!!! Do you know what this does to me??? I'm dreaming of it!!! I would much rather go back to waking up in an Aerosmith concert than this!  It's torture!  This kitchen is awesome ( to me at least).. and I'm pretty sure my cooking skills would improve if I owned this house.  Just sayin'- it's really hard for a control freak NOT to have control !!  Yes, I'm self-admitted !

So... you know how I told you guys I've been busy?? Well, you can thank me later, or now if you'd like:) I discovered this awesome blog... this chick is very informative and posts about the real issues out there.... Jean fitting....   Basically, she's letting the world know that we ladies shouldn't settle for mom butt jeans.  Now, if you are questioning whether or not your jeans provide a "mom butt", then you probably need to click the link below.  Per this chicks research, Old Navy and Gap provide the worst mom butt! She made her husband go with her to both stores to photograph her rumpus in EVERY style they had- and then she compared those photos with other brands in the same style such as Seven, Miss Chic, Express...  UMMMMM..... this is a must read/see.  Old Navy and Gap added 30 lbs to the look!! For real.  When I saw the first picture of this chick's rear in those jeans, I thought she was probably a size 14....um.... she's definitely NOT.  She's tiny.  It's all about the jeans.  When I realized that she was featuring Old Navy as a mom butt violator, I was like " Old Navy jeans were the BEST maternity jeans"...and then it hit me...THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!  I'm happy to report that every time I go jean shopping at Old Navy, I leave empty handed because the jeans seem to stretch just in the short time I'm trying them on. 
This morning, after I zipped up my newest purchase of Maurice's jeans, I did a thorough examination of my buttocks .....I.AM.A.MOM.BUTT.VIOLATOR.... in these jeans.  This chick provided lots of info about jean fitting....but what I got out of it is that it's all about pocket positioning....and let's just say that in my jeans for today...my pockets were not positioned !!!  I need to stick with my fabulous BOOM BOOM jeans given to me by my neighbor who recently lost a ton of weight.  There ain't a mom butt appearing in those! BOOM BOOM!  That last BOOM BOOM was for Vic... because I'm pretty sure she's gonna laugh when she reads it:)  I may or may not prance when I walk by her office...and I may or may not shout "BOOM BOOM" while prancing...in those jeans.  It's ok if you don't get this.

Anyway, read the link below.  It'll be well worth your time.

http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html




Did you guys know that Demi Lovato and Catherine Zeta Jones are bipolar? 

You would if you DVR'd Dr. Phil like I do. :)

Until Next Time

Ma'dam Martinez