It's GONE!

Now you see it....

Now you don't...

and that's now how my bank account appears :)

Now we just have to wait for the brush hogging to be done and it'll be so much better!

LG is getting a swing set for her birthday (which is supposed to be here next week!!!!)- so this mama is thankful the snake pit is GONE so she can play out back!

 

 

and with that.... I have nothing else to say. I'm drained today.

 

 

Oh wait.... more news.... I have an ingrown toenail that led me to the doc today.  Let's just say that cutting it with hair shears and pulling it up with unfolded paperclips for 10 days isn't smart and may or may not cause infection that may or may not result in antibiotics to kill it. 

 

You are welcome for this enlightening news, because I'm sure everyone uses hair shears and paperclips. 

 

 

Until Next Time......

 

 

 

 

Ma'dam Martinez

The Time I Thought I Could Decorate a Cake

It's been quite the week at the Martinez household.

First off....I'm still mourning the loss of Will Gardner.  If you haven't watched The Good Wife...I'm not sure you should catch it up now.  You can read about my obsession with it here.

I sat in bed and cried when I realized Will was killed and bawled my eyes.  Meanwhile, Martinez looked at me like I was a complete lunatic.
The look intensified when I was crying out "How will Diane move on?" ..."Alicia's heart will be broken forever!"...and when I was frantically texting The DeShazo about this devastation.

The week also resulted in the dreaded, horrid, terrible, "yearly" appointment.  For those three for sure people that have kept up with my rambling, you may remember my awful "surprise" at last year's visit.  If not, feel free to bring those memories back here.

For the record, it happened again...and I still didn't have the nerve to confront her about this.  It's so completely humiliating that I lose my speaking capabilities.

Ok, so I am planning a simple, Cinderella birthday party for LG.  She loves Cinderella.
I have my heart set on  this cake.

I also have my heart set on making it myself.

I've discovered that it's a good thing I've decided to start practicing making it 8 weeks in advance.....because the first trial run = horrid !!!

I started out super excited and pleased with how my icing turned out.  It's a fabulous buttercream...fabulous. Since I have to be in bed by 9 every night, I had to make the cake/icing one day and decorate the next.  

Phase 1 & 2 complete...

Yesterday was "decorating" day.  It was a  failed attempt.  Not only did I not have the right tip....I didn't have a clue on the "technique".  After two hours of attempts/wiping it off/starting over/watching youtube videos, I gave up for this trial run....and I was even more annoyed when I looked down and realized that apparently I didn't twist my pastry bag together good enough and icing came out of it and all down my shirt...when meant it was also all over cabinets and well....everywhere else too.

I did the honorable thing.

I shoved the biggest spoonful of icing in my mouth and savored it (Jen A., if you just read that....please exhale)....

and then I got angry because that probably will cause a pound weight gain....

so I did another honorable thing.....

I stabbed the cake with my spatula, while Martinez's eyes quickly dart to the ceiling and back to see if cake splattered on it before focusing on me as if I was a lunatic for the second time this week.

I then came to my senses and put the portion of cake that was damaged in the drain and then sent a ton of cake over to the neighbors so that I wouldn't continue to shove anymore down my throat.

First attempt resulted in a lot of lessons...most of all... I learned I can make a mean buttercream icing....

and this little one enjoyed it.....

I've also learned this week that my PIC can't eat apples without an apple slicer....and when she had to improvise....this was the result.....

Until Next Time,

Ma'dam Martinez

Randomness

It's been like three months since I've posted.


For the last few months, I've been incredibly homesick. That's never happened to me like this in the nearly 7 years I've been away.  Sure, for holidays when I know my family is grilling out or celebrating I wish I was there...but never really homesick...and the things I've been homesick for were specific. Like.....fishing, four-wheeler riding with my family, eating my mom's and sister- law's baked goods (even though the whole time I eat them now I worry about the pounds I gain - but the apple dumplings may be worth it...), and watching my kiddo and nephew interact with one another.  The love between the two of them is nothing like I've ever seen before. Literally, two peas in a pod.

Ty is the most selfless kid I know with the biggest heart for other people- and it's sad that they won't grow up together.

The wish for all of those things has somehow put me in a funk...one that even Steven Tyler can't get me out of....and I'm still climbing out of that funk. Our trip to AR a few weeks ago seemed to help the homesickness in some ways....but made it worse in others.  Not only did I come back with a craving for Vanilla Coke Zero that I can't get here, but a longing for land (which I want to be woods that needs no maintenance:)) and family closer.

And no... I'm never  hopefully never moving again.  (Every time I say never, God gives me the opposite.   True story.  I say I will never marry a military man- God deems otherwise..... I say I'll never a city man....God deems otherwise...you get the idea).  HE's always right, though:)

Anyway, my rambling leads me to this....

When Martinez and I moved this summer, this enormous, ugly, snake infested brush pile was not too much on our radar.  We couldn't see it sooooo clearly b/c there were other trees/shrubbery in front of it that have now been removed.
It's time for it to go.  There is an gigantic tree in the midst of the pile....apparently our builder decided to just push everything together and leave it...and apparently we were not smart enough to fully investigate the pile beforehand.
As usual, I have a deadline.... I need the pile gone before summer (which really means yesterday) so that LG can play outside without me going psycho over the fact that snakes are going to emerge from the pile and eat her and the sitter alive. (And yes, I've played that scenario out in my head....several times.)
Between the winds of Oklahoma sweeping through the plains and our work schedules, burning it is not exactly an option.  I don't want the Martinez family on the news for burning down an entire neighborhood.
We have some people coming out to look at the pile and give us a quote for hauling it off- so I'm hopeful someone can get rid of it...affordably. You guys might want to send some good thoughts Martinez's way.....it may be possible that I'm driving him nuts everyday about the pile.

More Randomness....

I discovered this photo while trying to get Google+ to do an update of my photos.....

It made me laugh... Oh Vic....we miss you up here! (And in case anyone is wondering.... I still can't do a push up.... and I've decided it's gonna go on the list of things I have no will to be subject to, along with camping and watching The Sound of Music.)
Our office was trashed in this photo. (Another random thought).

Since this blog was originally here to talk about my weight loss... here goes...

I was 162 before going to AR.  When I came back, I weighed 168.  Gasp.
I'm not gonna lie.... I ate 6 out of the 16 apple dumplings.  It just happened.
I also consumed about 2 lbs worth of peanut butter cake....and wanted more. (Mamaw has a super winner of a recipe with this dessert!)  Again, it just happened.

Before the trip, I was eating "real" foods.  This is totally opposite what I did to lose my 65 pounds.  I was eating high fat foods like cashews, avocados, ect., and I felt GREAT.  Jen A is a pimp, and she helped The DeShazo and I out with a new way of looking/thinking about food.

I've managed to lose only 3 pounds since being back home- so I'm at 165- and getting back to eating real foods the way I was before the trip.  It's crazy how one week of not paying attention or caring and eating whatever you want can be such a set back...and I totally lost control.

I'm working on getting that control back.  I know I'm not gonna gain back to 225lbs like I did from 2009-2012, because I freak out if I get over 164... and then try to reign in back in.  I've just got to get myself back in the head space I need to be in so I can get to 150.


I suppose I've rambled enough.




Until Next Time......






Ma'dam Martinez

Love/Hate Relationships

It's been so long since I've written that I cannot even imagine trying to catch up.
So I won't.
I've had lots of things to say, but I just haven't been in the mood to write them....until now.

I'm annoyed about Elf on the Shelf.
There.
I said it.





Would it be wrong to create an elf funeral seen?

Here's the deal, I read an article that's floating around Facebook about some parents who stuck their elf in the freezer...which led to the mom saying that some mom's are overachieving with elf scenarios and making them look bad.
This made me analyze my own elf thoughts.
I have a love/hate relationship with Elf.....and yes, Elf is what sweet LG has named hers.   Don't ya just love her originality?

Let me begin by saying that I purchased Elf because I didn't want LG to be "left out" or for her to "miss out" on something.
Of course I went to Pinterest for elf on the shelf ideas and made a note in my phone of ones that I liked or that LG could understand.
The first two days, it was fun.
It then became a chore.

I feel as though it's difficult to find appropriate ideas for a 2 1/2 old to understand, while also not being too messy:)
Combine that with having to make sure it's done before she wakes and getting appropriate pictures is almost too much pressure!!

The article I read referenced the picture taking portion.  Anyone who knows me or that has stalked my Facebook or anyone who reads this blog for that matter knows that I take more pictures than necessary.  I take them constantly...and while I know it's annoying to some people....I continue to post them b/c they are for us and for our family and friends that live away so they can watch her grow.  I want to have the memories of her growing up for years to come....so I'll take them until I no longer have a camera:)

Anyway, I'm tired of Elf.  The DeShazo has informed me that as LG gets older, I won't have to work as hard and then I can just move her around.
I think this is her attempt to keep me from cutting Elf into pieces with a butcher knife.
She handed out candy bags today.....which I'm totally gonna "re-gift" to LG from Elf tomorrow.  I know, I'm being a baby.

My last thought about this whole thing....I've seen some people say things like " We don't do elf on the shelf because we want to teach our kid the real meaning of Christmas".....this makes me want have five elfs....I know...I'm totally contradicting myself.
It's no different than Santa....and you can still teach your child the true meaning.

I've so gained four pounds since my last post.  I hate yummy holiday food.
My solution to this?  Starting January, my friend D will be "teaching" me to run.  Let's see how this goes.  I'm worried, I'm scared....and desperately trying to think of ways to get out of this.  I'm a champ of getting out of things that require any sort of exercise.  I've got a few excuses up me sleeve.....and yes, I'm being ridiculous and realize it.







I leave you with this...

Att-it-tude:)


Until Next Time....


Ma'dam Martinez

** excuse the typos***

Living a TV Show in My Head

It's been busy lately....really busy.

I think since my last post, we've had an early Christmas in AR with my family, a fight with the builder of our home about some land fixing we feel should be done, LG got the worst stomach virus ever, work has been super busy....and I've become obsessed with The Good Wife....obsessed.

Early Christmas was fun....

It was a great trip.

The Good Wife.....I started from the pilot and watched every episode of every season through the current season in four weeks and it's life changing.  The DeShazo is hooked as well.  I'm pretty sure I need to be Diane Lockhart....or Alicia Florrick. I've dedicated so many hours to this it's ridiculous.  I'm dreaming about Lockhart Gardner and whether or not the world can go on if Diane really does accept the judgeship....and what about Will and Alicia???  Why can't they just be together??? Why does she have to "stand by her man" Peter?? He cheated! Multiple times! More importantly, why does The DeShazo want Peter and Alicia together?? That's the real question.
I might be a little passionate about this...maybe psycho...but I can't wait til the next episode on Sunday.
I've watched almost every interview by the cast I could find online and I think about it all the time. I need therapy.
I have such a problem, that while I was shopping for a cream/white colored pea coat, I stumbled upon this..

and had to have it because it looked just like one of Kalinda's jackets.
I know, ridiculous. It is what it is...If I can't be a detective, I should get to dress like one, right?

I can't believe October is almost over....and that means two weeks before I put out my Christmas decor. (For the grinches that say "Thanksgiving hasn't even arrived"...my response is that Christmas is too fabulous and special to only celebrate it a few weeks).  Since I lost a lot of my Christmas stuff in the 05/31 storm, I get to spend some time at Hobby Lobby and that makes me super happy and Martinez super scared. (And for those boycotting Hobby Lobby right now- find something else to do with your time- like watching The Good Wife).

For the moment, I'm still celebrating fall....
with sweet potato pie.

Martinez had to go to Arizona for work, so I decided I would have pie for dinner this week.
It's a great choice really.

My sweet girl was finally able to go back to her sitter yesterday.  When I picked her up....she immediately asked for ice cream and I have no idea where that came from....but I obliged and had a happy camper:) It's ok every now and then, right?  It's only a skinny cow!

Shockingly, she ate that cone like a champ and only her face was sticky.

With Martinez away, LG and I decided to shop.  I'm pumped that I can actually try on medium shirts now and not worry that they won't fit !
I finally get to leave the dressing room happy, something far away nearly two years ago.  I still have a pair of jeans I can't fit into and that is driving me nuts.  I wear size 8 in several styles/brands of pants ....except the one pair I want and the size up is too big. Ugh.
Anyway, going from size 18 to 8 makes me happy and I don't think that will ever leave. Being overweight takes a toll on a person mentally and physically....whether they admit it or not.
I'm trying this stuff.. Plexus Slim.  Apparently, a lot of people have lost tons of weight with this drink/pill.  At this point...I'm not sold on it.  It keeps me with a feeling of being satisfied and I don't want to eat all the time, but the weight isn't falling off- I'm simply maintaining which I've been doing on my own for about 10 months.
I'm not writing it off yet.  I do feel like I'm not eating as much....but I'm still waiting on results.

Photos from lately....

Until Next Time...

Ma'dam Martinez

Challenges & Squirrels

So...
The DeShazo and I had a two week challenge of no eating out....that started over two weeks ago.
We were not successful....and we blame Napoleon's.
You can read The DeShazo's thoughts about that here and of her stress eating...which I happen to agree with...only I like to eat when I'm not stressed too:)
I chose the challenge as a punishment for her choosing to make me to live without coke for two weeks.
I would just like to note that I succeeded with no coke, but have drank plenty since. I guess you can say I "stockpiled" pop from the fantastic Buy for Less sale two weeks ago, as I ended up with 16 pops total for $4.00.  Even though I'm not a Pepsi brand fan, I can lower my standards for $.25 a two-liter...especially when I have a pop addiction. (For those wondering how many cake mixes I bought....I only got 14......and then this last week they had another big sale and I ended up with 40 yogurts for only $10....but not to worry...they won't be out of date until November 5th.)

The Deshazo and I have a new challenge.
We must dress up for 1 week straight at work.  Yes, I know we work in a law office and you would expect that two college graduates working for an attorney would be dressed up daily.

Nope.

We actually have a bombdotcom boss who is pretty forgiving when it comes to clothing.

If you clicked on The DeShazo's blog, then you already know yoga pants happen often.  I mean, they are black? Isn't black dressed up?
My favorite item of clothing to wear to work has been my faithful Adidas wind pants...but I have none that fit at the moment...and no fat jokes peeps...they are too big!
Anyway, The DeShazo and I can't quit eating crap, so we figure if we actually have to button up jeans or wear a dress that's actually halfway decent, we won't eat as much.  Something about the yoga pants makes you so comfortable that you feel the need to eat junk...or Napoleon's.

Since The Boss was brought up...he is pretty cool...except for when he posts nonsense articles on my Facebook in order to cause humiliation.  While I can explain why he chose a squirrel joke, I will not be able to explain what it was in retaliation for.  Some things just need to stay at the Rice Law Firm.

Explanation:  Once upon a time, my boss decided to post a photo on Facebook referencing my enjoyment of eating squirrel..( please note that I do NOT like squirrel).

Long ago, when I first started working at the law firm, a conversation was held about the hickness of Arkansas. (Please note that those conversations are still on-going).  Anyway, I don't even remember how eating squirrel was brought up....but for reason... I stupidly admitted that my parents/brother tricked me into eating squirrel.
Now, where I'm from, this is completely common and normal...just like eating deer meat (which I love).  I drew the line at squirrel. My parents/brother could not fathom why I wouldn't eat it and threw a huge fit about it.  So, I was told we were having chicken and dumplings for dinner one night.  After I ate a ton of it, the truth came out...the dumplings were made with squirrel meat...not chicken.....and to the boss....that totally hickified me.
I will also add that since that time, The Boss has made me inform him of how many "animals I've eaten".
(Also note that I refused squirrel my whole life...even after the dumplings that were actually quite good.)




So, this year, Martinez, LG & I will not be able to go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Martinez started a new job mid-year, so he only gets a week vacation and we burned three of those days to move...and another day will be used in two weeks when he has Lasik.
With that being said, my brother's family, my parents and us will be celebrating Christmas in about three weeks.  We have rented some cabins at Mt. Magazine and can't wait!  This was the only time all of us could get together over a weekend and it's going to be fun.  We are all super pumped!!!!! LG keeps walking around saying "Unky Chad! Unky Chad"!

Photos from the weekend..

Until Next Time....



Ma'dam Martinez


**Sorry for the typos**

You're Gonna Hear Me

ROAR.

I'm pretty sure I wrote that song in my dreams....

Dreams you say?? I've had about 2-3 weeks of glorious sleep with no drug dealin' involved, until last night, wherein I became a for real pimp and now have thugs under me who do my footwork.  I thought it was gonna be much safer, until I got cut down my face as a threat/warning to make sure my peeps weren't informants, ect.  Since my crew consisted of family, I felt they were "clean".
The crazy part to this dream?  I woke up with a  big scratch down my face this morning.
I hope this leaves before my dreams lead me to jail.



The Martinez family has been so busy lately....we had no idea that we would have so much yard maintenance/clearing at the new house.
All of the yard work led to us investigating for safety purposes stalking the new, shirtless neighbor with the red solo cup.  Well, technically I guess it's not stalking if it's not affecting him....and he doesn't know.

First off, let me say that the first interaction with the new neighbor happened with Martinez, Liv, Neighbor (P) and his little girl.  I was off getting my nails done when he walked on over to introduce himself.
Martinez informed me that night that the "wife" stayed in the car.
Ever since then, I've been looking for this "wife". P and his kiddo are outside a lot, as are we, so several smiles/waves and small talk convos have occurred, but a wife was never outside and it was driving me nuts.
Martinez and I had several conversations in the beginning about P.
I immediately went to first worst case scenario.
1)- He locks his wife up during the day.
2) -They only have one car....so he doesn't let her have any independence... what if he beats her???Surely something is going on b/c who wouldn't want to be outside ...ever...with your family.
3)- He's always shirtless with a red solo cup.  So he's obviously an alcoholic and that's the issue.

Martinez even started getting a little unsettled since our little ones wanted to play so much....so the research began.

We I may or may not have been wrong about P.

Through the county assessor, OSCN and Facebook, we discovered that there is no "wife".  There is an older daughter, and he's absolutely NOT a bad person or criminal at all.
At some point, after we really get to know P, I'll confess our judgment of him and how I thought he kept his wife in secret and how I planned a whole scheme to get her out while he was away b/c I knew about when he arrived home in the evenings.
I probably shouldn't have read Jayce Dugard's book... I blame that.

I was feeling so guilty that I made his family a baked spaghetti and sent Martinez over with it on Friday.
I will also add that the "red solo cup" is actually just a red household cup, as we have had many interactions since my initial judgment.

Moral of this story?
No, not that you shouldn't judge folks...b/c we all already know that....
It's that if you get a baked spaghetti from me out of the blue.....I probably know your life's history, read your divorce Decree and know how many miles to gallon your getting.:):)

Just kidding....kinda.


A few photos from lately..

Until Next Time.....


Ma'dam Martinez